Anguish ... Dean McDermott has admitted he planned to take his own life after cheating on wife Tori Spelling. Source: Supplied
DEAN McDermott was apparently so distraught over cheating on his wife Tori Spelling and “out of control” alcohol and drug use that he contemplated suicide, leading him to be put in an LA psych ward.
“I don’t ever want to be in that dark place again where I wanted to take my life,” he told Access Hollywood.
McDermott said he felt so low as a result of cheating on Spelling, in a one-night stand, that he began to plan his own death.
“I was driving around in my truck with a loaded 9mm. I was put on a 5150 at the UCLA psych ward,” he revealed.
“[My son] Liam had a performance and I didn’t want to miss that performance … I had plans that night to do it.
Happier times ... McDermott says his alcohol and drug use was out of control when he cheated. Picture: Supplied Source: Supplied
“The fact that I cheated on my wife, I wish never happened,” he admitted of the cause of all his anguish.
“I wish my alcohol and drug use hadn’t gotten out of control.”
McDermott also revealed that he’s done and dusted with the couple’s reality show True Tori.
“We have five more shows left. I can’t do this anymore,” he said.
“I can’t keep opening a vein, opening my soul and sharing my feelings and thoughts and demons with the world. I don’t watch it. I can’t. It’s really difficult. I can’t do it anymore, for my soul.”
McDermott also admitted that he “almost lost everything, everything that means anything” to him, but he’s going to fight to save his marriage.
Hope ... McDermott says he holds out hope he and Tori Spelling can still work it out. Picture: Getty Source: Getty Images
“I still love [Tori] to death and that’s why we’re still together,” he said.
“I hold out a lot of hope. If you don’t have hope what do you have? I love this woman, regardless of what I’ve done. I love her and want to be with her. I want to grow old with her at this moment she feels the exact same way.”
*Readers in need of counselling or suicide prevention support can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.
