Mirror columnist Fiona Phillips on a family who have been devastated by one sub-human's act of depraivity
Just how much more is Sara Payne supposed to take?
Still recovering from being struck down by long periods of ill-health, whilst having never recovered from the vile murder of her beautiful daughter, Sarah, she’s been hit by tragedy again this week.
On Monday the body of her husband Michael was found in his flat in Kent.
For 14 years, Michael had been a broken man, never having forgiven himself for the unspeakable fate of his beloved eight-year-old daughter at the hands of Roy Whiting, a beast not worthy of consideration.
Michael was a man who saw himself as head of his family. He was the breadwinner, the family’s protector, the man who kept the wolf from the door.
I met him a number of times during the unimaginable weeks when Sarah was still missing and after she’d been found, her tiny body discarded in a field, like a play-thing grown tired-of.
His demeanour was always the same: emotions kept firmly locked away, eyes averted so you couldn’t see the profound hurt.
It was Sara who, like Doreen Lawrence before her, found a grit, a fight, a determination not to have let her daughter die in vain.
I can recall, as if it was yesterday, the atmosphere in a room when Sara walked in, a body just functioning because it had to go on for her other children and for Sarah’s memory.
The instinct to hug her and say “how sorry” and give those looks that people give to someone whose unthinkable situation has drained them of words, was always suppressed by her complete dignity, her resolve and her newly found position as leader of her family pack.
Michael, on the other hand, couldn’t handle what he thought was his failure to protect his brood. He turned to drink, became violent and estranged himself from the people he loved so much.
One of his sons, Lee, 27, posted a Facebook message with an insight into how disparate and desperate his father’s life had become: “Dad you had your demons and troubles but you had a good heart and were a decent man”.
His sister, Charlotte, also shared her feelings: “Heartbroken to say the least, no matter what happened and how many mistakes we all made. You will always be my daddy.”
There was a thank you to well-wishers “at this painful time” from Sara. She’s not a woman of words. They are locked up, along with the pain that goes on and on.
Now, once more, she will see those awkward looks from people who don’t know what to say. But she will soldier on. And maybe one day she will lead her family to happiness at last.
